Stories of Survivors

When I was younger, I don’t quite recall my earlier years so I apologize for the fuzzyness in this, but my mom told me that everyone she introduced me to loved me and such so I thought I was basically a very loved person by my surroundings so I tried to make as many friends as possible, I remember meeting two kids brother and sister who where the kids of my moms co-worker and their father who also drived my moms bus to work.  I was to young to stay at home so she’d take me to there house so I can sleep shower and go to school safely.

I remember when he woke me up the first time squeezing my chest so hard the pain lingered after he stopped, he then told me to get up or he’d drag me off the bed so I did what I was told to he took me to their living room and stood in front of me and began to unzip his pants and it all went down hill from there.  This became a constant thing, I couldn’t fight him I couldn’t say anything to my mother cause shes quick to judge and she dislikes me.The second time, I was so close I mean literally so close to losing my virginity.  All I could do was scream but even with that he seemed to over power me until his family called and told him he had to pick them up from the dentist, in his car he told me I better not tell anyone ever since then I stopped coming over cause my mom would notice bruises and questioned me saying if it was his kids.

 I recall what he said and how easily he can overpower me and my mom since we lived alone..the third time it was with a different man again related to my mom in there job we went to his house and he asked me to come in the bathroom to show me how he shaves his beard cause I always  called him beardy, I didn’t question it because the bathroom was in plain view and my mom could see it but when she looked away he shoved me into his room putting his hand on my mouth, he had put it inside me he just didn’t go pass that “part” of me that I had left.

Till this day I hear my friends talking about masturbation and all of that but I can’t even bring to putting my fingers in that area cause of the flashbacks and fears.  When someone touches me, even with a handshake I just don’t feel anything.