Stories of Survivors

I don’t remember much. I was 5 or 6 when it happened. It was at daycare, in the van, on our way to a field trip. I was an oddball little girl with no friends. Then this boy ,who was about 14 or 15 came to sit with me in the very back corner seat. He said he was my friend, and kissed me on the mouth, and used his tongue. Then he put his hands down my pants. I tried telling him to stop, but i was so small, and i couldn’t talk with his mouth on mine.  He kept saying that this is what friends do, and I should feel lucky that he was my friend. It happened for a few weeks until summer was over, and he disappeared. I remember that almost every day. I never told anyone. I can’t remember his face, just his name. Tyler. I shiver whenever i hear that name.

I was a freshman in high school. I was with my youth group, and we’d just come back to our church from Christmas caroling. We ran around the church, playing and screwing around, mostly off the high that none of us really ever had a chance to play in a church at night with no priests around to scold us. My first encounter was in the balcony. He grabbed my ass. I didn’t think anything of it. I brushed it off. Later, in a dark room in the church during a game of hide and seek, he backed me against a wall and kissed me. I probably could’ve pushed him away; I remember probably weighing more than him. I was just too scared; too shocked to do anything. He shoved his hands in my jeans. I was already whimpering. When asked, I would say I was okay, even though I knew it looked like I’d been crying. I told the boy who would be my boyfriend in the next few weeks; he did nothing. I eventually told our youth group leader; nothing really happened. The guy used to ride my bus. One day, he sat next to me and whipped out his junk in the corner of my peripheral vision, just to fuck with me. Again, I told no one. I saw him every day until he graduated, which was a couple years. I’m still not entirely okay.

-Anonymous

I have been dating this boy for nine months (i’ll call him T), and he recently shared with me something in his past that he is very ashamed of, even though I believe he really shouldnt be. When he was in 3rd grade, he moved into a new neighborhood and across the street was a boy Chris who was older I think, anyway T wanted to fit in and make friends so he started hanging around this boy. But Chris was a manipulative boy, telling T if he wanted to hang out with him and be in the ‘cool kid club’ he had to give him a blow job. Not knowing what this meant T did it, and now to this day it haunts him. Thanks to the actions of another boy who obviously knew what he was doing was wrong, T questioned for a long time his sexuality, and himself, thinking that he was to blame. I just really wish I could help him see that he is not to blame for the actions of Chris.

Anonymous:

I’m not sure what to call this.. but earlier this year my guy friends and I were walking back from a football game and all that time at the football game one of my guy friends was making me uncomfortable by putting his arm around me, leaning his head on me ect. so i wasn’t very happy with him so i was walking ahead of him and my other guy friends he tried to grab me repeatedly and i kept yelling at him to stop and saying no, and then he grabbed my shirt and pulled it down and then my ex boyfriend stepped in (he was one of my guy friends with us) and told him if he did anything else he’d beat him up. so I’m not sure what to call that but i didn’t talk to my guy friend for a long time even now I don’t really converse with him. 

Note: This is sexual harassment and it is not okay. Im glad your ex is a decent guy though :)

nikkidotz:

When I was very young (about 6 or 7 until 10), my grandfather molested me. Countless times. Finally I was old enough to understand it was wrong, and I told my mom. I sometimes regret that because I know it broke her heart. He has since passed on, but I feel no resentment towards him. I actually forgive him 100% for what he did. It was wrong of him, but there is no use in hating him at this point. Forgiving has made it much easier to move on. After being molested, I have found it somewhat difficult to trust men. I am, however, so grateful for my boyfriend. I finally found a GOOD man who I can trust. They ARE out there.